I spent my first 20 years on the Mediterranean, and then moved to the US to finish college and be closer to my older siblings.

For several years I was as a Tech Director at AT&T.  I was drawn to accept a position to manage Project Managers and Business Analysts at what was then PacBell, although I didn't have a technical background. I was hired due to my experience at a very successful, non-hierarchical software company, where I worked in International Marketing. My experience in that collaborative environment is what the hiring Director wanted me to bring to his team.

Having grown up in a large family where life was centered around relatives, close friends and delicious shared meals, I decided to offer to-go dinners to a circle of friends. My daughter was 6 at the time, and she became a wonderful helper. She is a creative cook in her own right now, and often inspires me with her dishes.  My son is a talented cook as well.  He is a gourmet and joined us in our love affair with cooking creativity.

My dinner service became popular, and in spite of my full-time job, I was able to plan, shop for and cook three dinners a week for about ten people. Cooking for me was meditative and healing. For my mother preparing food was an act of love and nurturing.  She created each dish with the care and love. Mother added more than spices and sauces to her cooking. She poured love and the Divine's name into every dish. Consciously or not, the energy and thoughts you have when are cooking is what people react to. 

I often received rave reviews for what I felt were the simplest dishes. It used to perplex me until I realized that while I cook I too invoke the Divine as mom did, and love the process so much it alters the food itself.

Eventually, I was caught in the frequent round of big layoffs at AT&T. My severance package could see me through a couple of years if I was careful. I was a single mom at that point, so didn't feel I could wait long to decide what to do next. One day my daughter, who was a college student, called to say that there was the cutest commercial space available for rent in Berkeley, and I should come look. I have always talked about having a small Cafe. I hesitated since I couldn't afford to lose my savings, but unbelievable events unfolded in a way that left no doubt in my mind this was what the Universe wanted me to do!

My Cafe was both fun and very challenging. I was stressed learning by the illogical and expensive things I had to do to get City approvals, permits and inspections. A lot of remodeling was needed, and the expense was more than I predicted. Well, after six months of agony and STRESS, we opened.

My menu was creative and healthy, and we made everything on premises. My employees were college kids from campus across the street, and their schedules were unreliable.  I found I had to be there 9 hours a day, six days a week even after a year. Although I loved the work, I began to resent the time I spent away from family and my son.

It was during this period that I felt a tiny lump in my breast. When my primary care Doctor told me it was cancer, I had an unusually calm reaction. As I sat looking at him I thought, "Huh, so this is what I have to do now. Me. Cancer. Wow." I drove home in a bit of a fog, but still no outward reaction.

One of my sisters passed from renal cell cancer several years before, and her husband also passed from pancreatic cancer 2 years later. During their experience with cancer I became very interested in Alternative therapies. I wish I knew then what I know now. 

With the help of a physician friend I began a serious exploration of Complementary and Holistic Medicine. Through her I got in touch with an internationally prominent bio-chemist and science researcher looking into both conventional and non-conventional successful cancer treatments. He was also a founding Advisor to the National Institutes of Health’s Office of Alternative Medicine.

My consultation with him led me to alternative medicine practitioners in California, Texas, Florida, Utah and in Germany.

Although my Surgeon was a delightful person, when I asked about the risks of needle biopsies vs. surgical biopsies, she reassured me that needle biopsies were 99% safe. Her attitude said, "Don't worry your pretty little head about this. This is what we always do." And that in a nutshell is the attitude I encountered from conventional treatment docs every step of the way. Despite my doubts and discomfort with the idea, I agreed to a needle biopsy. Based on advice from the cancer researcher, I went to an immune clinic in Southern California for three weeks. The founding doctor had been treating her older brother for pancreatic cancer for 7 years based with a supplement routine, diet and massage therapy. That is practically unheard of.

Doctors will throw statistics at you to support their advice, but you are not a statistic.  The Oncologist said there was a 33% benefit from Chemo for my type of cancer...but the data that actually matters is that Mortality benefit was only 3-4%! You are not told that. Main stream doctors can only offer you what they have in their 'toolkit', if they don't have access to… or knowledge of… other less toxic options, you're not going to hear about them. 

So, was it worth making myself sick, and possibly triggering other cancers for a 3-4% benefit?  Since the little lump was biopsied… of course, another tumor showed up in exact same area one year later to the day. Now there was also a spot behind the chest wall.

I consulted with is a nationally known Nutritional Oncologist. Based on my blood tests and diagnosis she outlined a Supplement and Nutrition regimen. I lost 30 lbs in ten months once I started eating 'healthy’. I also had a phone consultation with the former Medical Director of the MD Anderson Integrative Medicine program. Before the interview he had me fill out a form that tracked my diet for two days, evaluated my lifestyle, my fears, and my hopes!  He recognized me as a whole person!

He recommended some promising homeopathic tinctures to go along with my supplements and tweaked a couple of the supplements I had been taking.  Otherwise his nutritional advice matched what I was already doing. Confirmation.

I started to look for a buyer for the Cafe. I knew I had to pay attention to my healing, and stress was something I always suspected as a leading role in cancer development. It took 10 months to find a buyer for the Cafe.

This time I had to agree to Chemo and Radiation treatments. I made sure to consult with my Nutritional Oncologist again and she changed some of the supplements for ones that softenened the toxic effects of the particular drugs I would receive, and for the potential side effects. She also recommended certain foods and spices that were powerful healers.

I was on 'potential-Cafe-buyer #5' at this point and was beginning to lose faith that I could sell the Cafe. However, one hour before my first treatment, my boyfriend drove back and forth to Berkeley with lease papers so we could sign them! And he then put the deposit check in my hands!  Yes, God sometimes takes us to the edge, but if we hold on he doesn't push us over it!  I mean really…an hour before?  You have GOT to see the humor in life.

Part II will explore my Journey through Chemo and Radiation, what I confronted, and what I learned.